I have long been interested in our perception’s ability to have an influence on the life we live. What we look for we find. What we focus on becomes real.  It is the foundation behind the “Secret” the law of attraction. When we believe something we will seek that which validates our beliefs while ignoring the rest. It was with this in mind that I embarked on my 100 days of Gratitude Facebook status updates. I would update my status with things I am grateful for. It didn’t have to be everyday but close to it and it could be anything from the little things to the major things. Anything at all would qualify as long as I was thankful for it.

Gratitude is defined as: the quality of being grateful or thankful. It is the feeling that comes with realizing that things could be worse. People who are grateful exercise more, report fewer physical ailments, are better at setting and reaching goals, and overall have a greater sense of well being. Would you rather hang out with a person who is thankful or someone who bitches about everything? Simply put, the higher you level of gratitude the happier you are in life. The happier you are in life the more things you have to be grateful for. It’s a self-perpetuating energy. The energy of gratitude is like Flubber. Once it get’s going it just keeps on going and going!

Of course, it’s easier said then done. We are each a collection of our past. Our lives, today, are simply a result of the perception of our yesterdays and those will always have an effect on our lives. In order to work towards becoming more grateful you most must acknowledge that the way we perceive things can and does have an effect.

Trying to shift your perception to feel more grateful is often meet with the response that “If I had something to feel grateful about I be more grateful!” It’s the classic act vs. feel argument that people are constantly using as a justification for their misery. “If I felt grateful I would act grateful.” The belief that our actions our dictated by our feelings when in reality they are more closely tied together if not the other way around. Feelings are created by action and it’s action that we have direct control over. William James, a founder of modern psychology sums it up nicely

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”

By controlling the action we can influence the feeling. By using our will we can begin to change the feelings and perception we have towards the world around and raise our level of happiness. With practice, patience and purpose we can change the way we perceive things and something as simple as gratitude days on Facebook can be a great launching pad. This is why I did 100 days of gratitude. Using my actions to create feelings.  You don’t have to do 100, when I started I was going to do 30 but kept on going. Start with 30 and see how you do. I bet you’ll be surprised at the number of things you find you are grateful for and you’ll start to see the world in a different light.  By using action you can influence feeling and from there – who knows what else your actions can do?

It’s been over a week now and I think I have fully processed my feelings, reactions, thoughts, and musings. I think the easiest way for me to process this all if to try and look at it from each of  LeBron’s different “hats” If we look at LeBron as a company, which he is, he has lots of “hats” to wear just like any other CEO. So let’s have at it.

LeBron as CEO of LeBron Inc -

If LeBron is a brand and I think we can all agree that he is then as CEO he wants to increase the value of his brand. He wants to expand his market and raise his products scope. There was a lot of speculation that he would end up in NY for it’s closeness to Madison Avenue, Wall Street, and the overall feeling that movers and shakers must dwell in that city. Not so fast. He made every team come to Cleveland to court him and it is no different or companies or potential business partners. This never played into his decision. He is too much and an icon to matter. I once was on Ellen and one of the other guests on that day was Tiger Woods (Pre-scandal). Tiger was on screen and looked horrible with his two-toned face from playing golf in the sun. It was radioed backstage for the make-up artist to go give Tiger powder during the break to make him look better. When she approached him he simply held his hand out and said “I don’t want any”. The women returned backstage and was screamed at,

“Why didn’t you give him any powder!”

“He didn’t want any! What was I supposed to do? It’s Tiger Woods!”

She was right. This was Tiger Woods and Ellen was glad to have him. If this were anyone else, or 99% of the people who go on any show they would have done whatever was asked of them. Not Tiger, nor LeBron, Kobe, Brad or Angie, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and a select other few people. Face it, LeBron is an Icon and as such he never need to worry about where he lives from a business sense. They will come to him.

Note: if you question his move as CEO to have “The Decision” relax, we’ll get to it in the Lebron as a Showman.

LeBron as a Family man:

I can only imagine the conversation he might have had with his GF/Baby momma about where to go. “So which do you think? Cleveland with it’s hard winters, average nightlife, Lake Erie and the occasional High Bacteria days, or Miami with it’s white beaches, beautiful ocean, rocking night life and an average temperature of 70 in the winter?” As if anyone would really choose Cleveland. Plus his kids will get to go to even more high end schools with lots of other famous people’s kids as well. Miami is really a much more attractive option from a family point. People take vacations to Miami not Cleveland. Yeah we have the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Cedar Point but let’s not get too excited.

LeBron as an NBA Player

This might have been the most important “hat” that he wore while thinking of his decision. Let’s be realistic, this was all put into motion 3 years ago and we can all speculate what went down but those 3 guys all have been dreaming of this for 3 years. I don’t believe they ever didn’t play to the best of their ability (save for a few games at the end of this season but that is up for interpretation) but LeBron was really the only one who had a decent team that could theoretically win it all. They all agreed to become Free Agents at the same time- for what? If not for this exact scenerio then why?

Pat Riley is a genius. Pure and simple. He is a visionary who looks down the road to see what might be. This is a man who trademarked the phrase “Three-peat” back when he was coaching the Lakers and they won 2 in a row. They didn’t win the 3rd but a few years later the Bulls did it and every piece of clothing, posters, and other trinkets that had “Three-peat!” on it, Riley got paid and will whenever anyone else does too. The man has smarts and he knows that to most NBA players, winning is always better than losing. Last time I checked it was why they played the game. So ask yourself what you would do? Would you go start building a team with 2 other all-stars knowing that players will line up by the dozen to be part of what you are building even if it means taking less money? Or stay on a team that has little options and a few average players? Sure you can say that the Cavs had the best winning record the last 2 seasons but LeBron played a large part of that. Take him away and you have nothing, in Miami take LeBron away and you still have a hell of a good core with Wade and Bosh. Put him back in and now you have you got. It’s scary to think of how good they can really become. As a basketball player who wouldn’t want to do this? Oh that’s right – the Ego driven Dominate Alpha Males? We can say that Jordan, Kobe, Magic, Bird, and all of those would never have would never have done that but can we really say that? They never had an option like this. Time will tell if it was the right move but as a NBA player – this makes complete sense.

LeBron as a Regular Guy

Perhaps the hardest thing to remember is that LeBron, for all his talents and abilities is still just a man. A very large athletic freak of a man but still just a man. He puts on his pants in the morning like we do, drives to work like we do, gets stuck in traffic like we do, gets sick like we do, and ultimately is mortal just like we are. Sure, those pants might costs 5k and he may have someone drive him to work and the traffic might be chopper traffic and he may have a nurse on staff full-time but he is still human and prone to the same range of emotions and feelings we are. I don’t know about you but I like my friends. I like to hang out, play sports, joke around, shoot the breeze, chill, talk about nothing, talk about everything, and sometimes just veg out. So give that Wade and Bosh are 2 of his good friends, and that a man like LeBron has a hard time making new friends (can you imagine what it would be like to have everyone want something from you) it would be natural for him to want to live and play with them. If you could take your current job/profession and get 2 of you really really good friends and keep doing what you are doing but only have the potential to be 10 times as good – wouldn’t you do it?

LeBron as a Showman:

This, of course, is where he fails miserably. I love watching him play basketball. If Jordan was a ballet dancer on the court then LeBron is like a break dancer, tap dancer, and one of those freaks that strikes a pose on one finger – you never know what you are going to see. His size, agility, and closing speed is the perfect combination for at least one “Holy Sh!t” moment per game and things that don’t seem possible. On the court, he is a great showman. Too bad he has no clue how to do it off the court. I hate to admit it but I am not really that upset with him for leaving Cleveland. I get it. If I were in his shoes I would most certainly have done the same. The way he did it is pretty poor. This is where he failed-epic fail. He may go on to win 8-10 championships but no matter what he achieves this is one black mark that will never fade from his public persona. He went on National TV and dissed and entire fan base. Never has an athlete of any sort let down so many people without having a complete scandal.

There really isn’t much else to say about it. I don’t think he deserved the venom that Gilbert spewed after but then again Cleveland didn’t deserve to be treated the way they did either.

Years from now we are only go to remember 2 things about this whole process. One – that Miami managed to assemble and amazing core of 3 young players and Two LeBron’s ill tempted handling of his announcement.

LeBron I will miss watching you play here in Cleveland and as a Cavs fan, I hope you don’t win but part of me can’t wait to see how good Miami might be. In 6 years if you decided to not return to Miami, let’s not have a repeat of what you did this time.

There are times in our lives when we are able to complete a lifelong dream. A moment that we strive for, wish for, work for, pray for, or hope for that when it takes place the sense of excitement is beyond words. some our goals that are within our own power to achieve while others require a bit more star alignment. I recently was able to do something that I had dreamed about for years and will never forget.  Baseball has always been a part of my life from the days of Tee-ball and travel league to College and the adult wood bat team I play on today. Living in Ohio I grew up an Indians fan and am still to this day regardless of the level of winning or some of the heartache that comes with them. So to be able to throw out an opening pitch has been on my list of things to do in life for as long as I have had a list (it was right after “Be on SNL”.

On June 17th I am happy and proud to say that I was able to mark that off my list.

Of course, you can’t see the ball cause I am just throwing it so fast the camera could not pick it up. It was a strike so I am happy about that. So no matter what your dreams or goals are just keep plugging away and you never know when they might happen.

I was watching the movie “Serendipity” the other day (something my girlfriend and I could watch together-not sports and not Kardashians) and if you have never seen it I’ll spoil it for you. Boy meets girl for a few hours and they have magic moment. Rather than exchange numbers (of course pre-cellphone days) they wrote their info on a $5 bill and inside a book with the thought being if “fate” would have it, one of them would find the other person’s item and they would know that “fate” meant for them to be together. The rest of the movie is them living out their lives but always wondering if they missed out and desperately seeking the contact info other of the other (too bad facebook wasn’t around yet). Of course as only Hollywood can they, shockingly, finally find each other at the end of the movie after each breaks off their engagement (one moments before the wedding) and of course we are to believe they live happily every after. It’s a romantic movie and the restaurant it’s names after has a line out they door when you visit it in NY.

It’s a cute and loving movie that is supposed to warm out hearts and remind us that fate always has our best interests at heart. Or does it?

Here’s the problem with fate-you can’t rely on it. No matter what you believe or how you think life works out fate has no more influence over your life then me blowing on a candle does on the winds over the Sahara Desert. What fate does for many is create a stop-freeze on action.

What you get in life will be a result of what you go after. Not what fate has in store. Are there forces in play outside of your control? Of course. Is there a chance that what you are going after is not what you’ll get? Sure. But you’re  guaranteed  you won’t get what you if you don’t at least go after it. You have to play the lottery to win.

Fate sometimes can be a calming factor to us when things are not going well or when something really bad happens. It can be a great coping mechanism. Just don’t let fate be the determining factor in your life. You are the determining factor.

No one can argue that an airplane may be the most advanced technological piece of equipment that normal people (non NASA) use. One look inside the cockpit and you will see an array of computers and instruments and a dizzying display of tech. On the plane itself flyers are equipped with iphones, ipads, ipod, ipees, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, PSP, DSs, Wii, Us, Thems, Kindles, Sony Readers, Noise Canceling headphones (which ironic enough don’t cancel out sound), and so much more. There is enough tech on an airplane to open up a sky high Best Buy.

Yet for all that power, for all those advanced features when a plane lands and pulls into the gate do you know how the agent meeting the plane let’s the flight attendant know it’s ok to open the door? The knock. A good old fashion rap on the door says it’s safe to open up. No phone call, no text message, no light display, just a knock. Simple as that. There is no need for anything else.

So the question is, how much do you over tech? I will be the first to admit I love me tech. I have enough Apple products to start an orchard but none of them will every come close to the joy of sitting with friends. I can send emails and text messages to people all day but never get the same feeling as a phone call or face to face conversation. Technology is supposed to enhance out lives and sometimes that means not over using it.

Tell me – what piece or type of technology do you over use that maybe you don’t need to?

If you ask an English teacher if Wikipedia is a good source they will most likely inform you that the APA does not consider to be valid. Apparently Candian Customs thinks differently.

As a professional speaker traveling across the border I sometimes get sent to immigration for further questioning after customs cannot wrap their head around the idea of a professional speaker. One occasion I was delayed for close to 3 hours before finally being allowed to enter. Recently I was traveling to St John NB for a few days to speak at a International Round Square Youth conference. Upon landing in Toronto I had to go through customs and after explaining what I was there for was sent along to immigration for further review.

After approaching the young women in immigration I handed her my passport and began to answer her questions about why I was heading into Canada. She seemed a bit perplexed and continued to ask about my speaking, “What do you speak about? How do you get your shows? Who do you speak to?”

I continued to explain and went as far to say I had a video on the Internet that had gone viral and that provided for lots of PR etc. What I did not know is that Canada has apparently adopted the policy to Google the name of anyone they are questioning to see what results pop up.

One search result later I was greeted with this, “Oh! You have a Wikipedia page! Here you go. Come on in!” Wikipedia might not be able to serve as a source for your dissertation but at least Canada considers it safe.

Life is not perfect and, more importantly, no one’s life is perfect. I know that. You know that. Life isn’t always going to be the party you want. Even when you have a party, it doesn’t always go exactly as planned. That’s life.

That doesn’t, however, mean you cannot enjoy life to its fullest. If life were perfect all the time, how would you know? You cannot enjoy the warmth of the sun without knowing the cold of the night. You cannot enjoy the laughter of friends and family without knowing the tears of sorrow or the silence of being alone. When life isn’t the party you had hoped for, don’t wallow in it. Accept it and then do something to change it. You have to be cold for only a moment to appreciate warmth.

There’s no shortage of despair in the world. Turn on the TV, read the newspaper, or surf the web and you’ll find misery in every facet of life. Not surprisingly, many people spend a large part of their time focusing on the negative and failing to enjoy the world around them. It takes work to be happy. We all pay lip service to being happy, yet most people do nothing to make happiness happen. They just think they should be able to show up and happiness will take care of itself. Sorry, but it just isn’t that way. We shower on a daily basis (most of us, anyway) to maintain our personal hygiene. Why can’t we have the same commitment to maintaining our happiness hygiene? Shower yourself daily with something to help you find a better way to live.

Please don’t confuse me with your stereotypical over-the-top motivational speaker who will tell you that your misery is created and perpetrated by you and only you, and that everything you want in life is within your reach if you will only step up and take it. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that you’ll never get everything you want in life, and if you do, you probably won’t be fully satisfied with it when it is all said and done. If you are not happy with what you have, you’ll never be happy with what you get. I can tell you this much. Life will never be perfect, but it can be enjoyable no matter what.

So, no matter what is going on in your life, make a conscious choice to be happy. Life isn’t always going to be the party we’d hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance.

What actions will you take to shower yourself daily with things to help you find a better way to live? Leave a comment and let me know!

Just as Socrates once said, “Perfection is constant change.” The latest change in my business has been the creation of my brand new website! Please check it out to find out more about me, my speaking programs and products. Also make sure you subscribe to my blog where I’ll be sharing insights to make you both laugh and think.

What are some of the latest changes you’ve made to improve your business?

Here’s a basic suggestion to make each day of your life better: Laugh more! The average child laughs as much as 300 times a day. (If you have a child, or are around kids, you know how they’ll laugh at just about anything – pets, bottles of ketchup, elephant jokes. They make great audiences.) In contrast, the average adult laughs around a dozen times a day. That’s a shame, because if we grow old without keeping our sense of humor, we’re missing out on a ton of physical, social, emotional, spiritual, and mental benefits.

Laughter rejuvenates our neurological pathways. One scientific study I saw contended that 10 minutes of solid belly laughs is equivalent to two hours of sleep. (So, you’ve got a perfect reason to stay up all night watching old “Three Stooges” re-runs, right?) If you want anecdotal evidence of laughter’s healing powers, just look at some of the famous comedians – Bob Hope and George Burns, to name two – who lived well beyond average life spans despite smoking and drinking way more than your average college frat boy.

No one ever watches a comedian or comes out of a funny movie saying, “I’m not going to do that anymore.” And, there’s even a benefit to forcing yourself to laugh – physiologically, our brains and bodies don’t know the difference between fake laughter and the real deal. You may not even believe it, but there’s a new movement popping up around the country: Laughing yoga. No downward-facing dogs or cobras required – just a group of folks getting together to laugh, and then eventually to laugh at the fact that they’re forcing themselves to laugh.

Laughter is a tremendous cleanser – it purges your system, like tears for your soul, some people say. When you can share laughter – telling embarrassing stories or jokes or even just passing along goofy videos that you found funny – it can break down barriers. Best of all, it’s the perfect way to cultivate your childlike side, because those darn kids laugh at anything and everything.

Hey, do you know how to tell when an elephant is hiding under your bed?

Answer: Your nose is squashed against the ceiling. (Don’t worry. Tell it to a group of seven-year-olds and they’ll think you’re hilarious)

What makes you laugh every day? What do you do to help others get their daily dose of laughter? Comment below and let me know!

I find our societal obsession with celebrity culture to be a combination of hilarious and horrifying. Stroll the magazine section of the bookstore, and you’ll see dozens of magazines dedicated to the constant updating of what the Hollywood elite are doing. If that’s not enough to get your fix, just flick on your TV and enjoy any of the several channels that are entirely dedicated to rich-and-famous goings-on. Did you see who Paris is dating? Do you know what Britney did with her baby? Can you believe that (fill-in-the-blank actress) and (fill-in-the-blank actor) are getting divorced?

The fact remains that these famous folk are simply humans, but for one reason or another we’ve elevated them above our own status as regular citizens. Ah, but lucky for you, I have a sure-fire antidote to celebrity worship, courtesy of my good friend Dr. Joe Martin, an educator and author, and probably my favorite professional speaker. One of his ideas has always stuck with me: When we’re intimidated by other people, we’re less likely to be at our best when we’re around them.

Here’s Dr. Joe’s thought exercise for the next time you find yourself awestruck. Think about the last time you were sitting on the toilet, only to look over and realize that the previous user of said commode had used up the last of the toilet paper and hadn’t brought in a new roll. There’s no one around to yell for. So you have to do what he calls the toilet paper shuffle: You need to stand up, with your pants around your ankles, and shuffle over to the cabinet or closet to get a new roll, and then shuffle all the way back. (With luck, I hope, you don’t have to go up or down a set of stairs, which isn’t just humiliating, it’s dangerous!)

I don’t care how famous you are, how buff, beautiful, or buxom, no one looks glamorous doing the toilet paper shuffle. And if you can just remember that every person on the planet has had to do that at some point in life, then maybe, just maybe, you can let go of a little of the awe when you encounter that person. He or she is just another human – with a full set of problems, concerns, inadequacies, and self-doubts.

So don’t go putting people on a pedestal until you’ve imagined them shuffling away from the porcelain throne. No matter how famous or wonderful or rich any of them are, you are just as important – and death is the great equalizer when it comes to status: When it’s all said and done, it matters what you did, not what people thought of you.

How do you calm your nerves when talking to someone you might be intimidated by? Leave your comments below.